Well the summer is over; not that it ever really started. Today I went to the gym and had to wear gloves on the walk there. It was sunny but the air was really cold. It smelled of autumn too; the leaves are starting to fall and the grass has stopped growing.
And, to mark the beginning of the chilly weather, I have caught a cold.
I’m struggling.
This week is taxing me. I’m really tired, I’m overeating, I’ve got no energy, I tried to go running but my bursitis has flared up, I’m putting on weight, I don’t like my new haircut, work sucks, it’s freezing, I’m stressed, I’m skint, I’m bored, I’m not allowed contact lenses because the air-con in our office has scarred my corneas… My good mood is over. I’ve slumped.
This week just bites.
What happened spring? Narcissi are growing in my window boxes, the sarcococca are flowering and the helleborus niger is starting to get new buds. I was even thinking about what bedding plants to buy. Then today it snowed on my way to work. I’m not joking. Actual snow.
Right now it’s howling a gale outside and I’ve got my Ugg boots on in the house; my feet are actually blue. It’s expected to snow and sleet all week with January-temperatures. I had put my winter boots and coats away but looks like I’ll have to get them out again.
Back in February I wrote about the first days of spring. I hope that this wintry weather isn’t going to signify that the hope that I’d managed to develop that perhaps, maybe, possibly, this year might not SUCK is in vain.
I went to salsa today, after two weeks absent due to the evil-cold-of-death.
I sucked. They’d learned cross body leads into inside and outside turns. I can do a cross body lead but that’s it, and the turns are so confusing. I really sucked.
Feel really bummed now. I needed tonight to cheer me up, but it didn’t and now I feel pathetic fat and useless. Bah, stupid evil-cold-of-death, it’s all down to the bug.
It wouldn’t be quite as bad if I was at least better, but I still feel rank. What on earth is going on? Why can’t I get healthy?
Well yesterday I ditched work, skived off, pulled a sickie, whatever you care to call it, for the first time ever. I did feel quite bad but the guilt was assuaged somewhat by the fact that I was genuinely a little bit ill, and that I wouldn’t be achieving anything in the office anyway.
Then last night I met P for a drink (round 2 of my assault against his mean-ness) and my voice started to get a lot more croaky. He said he had a similar thing, really sore throat, couldn’t speak properly, annoying cough and so on. He said it lasted a week or so, but took longer to get his voice back.
This morning I woke up and tried to speak to the cat (I do that, I’m a sad old cat lady) and nothing came out. Not even a squeak. I’ve never lost my voice before. I blame Mr Sod and his stupid law again. Someone wants me to pay for ditching work. I have jinxed myself by ditching work.
That said, I would take the lack-of-voice any day if it got me out of the office.
The cold has caught up with me. Despite feeling better yesterday, I woke up this morning with a horrid sore throat so I had to cancel my tennis lesson. Now I have a pounding headache. It’s not a proper cold yet, I don’t know if I’ve managed to fight it off or not. Time will tell!
I did make it out of the house though. I went to the coffee shop and did some reading for a few hours. I know the chances of me getting to do my PhD are gone, but it’s nice to pretend, so I read articles that the Prof had given me last time I saw him. One was written by him. It was funny to read something by somebody I knew, somebody that had died. There was a word in there that only he would have used. It was odd thinking that there would be nobody at the Uni now covering his teaching, and writing what he wrote about. He said if I didn’t get anything in the articles I should ask him; I never can now.
I had some of his lecture notes too, ones that he was going to use this semester. He’ll never teach them. I doubt anyone will take over, not in the near future; it still makes me sad.
Anyway, my head started to hurt so I came home. I think the cold gets a point for the sore throat and for the headache. Bah.
I set up a makeshift art studio in my living room by the big window. That was just after I posted my last entry. I’ve been painting ever since. The cold seems to be going away, but am going to top up on the drugs and vitamins now.
Mr Cat had a great time when I was painting. He managed to knock my palette knife onto the floor (thankfully it only had white paint on it, not black or something very staining) and then he took a bite out of the photo I was trying to copy from. Seriously. There are little teeth marks in it.
I needed evidence to prove to Boyfriend exactly how much effort it was looking after a cat alone, so I went to get my camera. In this picture Mr Cat was trying to decide if he wanted to drink the dirty paintbrush water. Thankfully he didn’t.
My makeshift painting studio
… in the battle of me versus the cold.
Woke up this morning with a sore throat. Sure sign that I’m about to get the dreaded lurgy. I’ve got some Vick’s First Defence so started that this morning (yuck and ouch – no wonder it works, it’s so unpleasant that you convince yourself the cold has gone away just to avoid having to use it again) and am about to open a giant carton of Innocent smoothie. Kettle is boiling for some Lemsip, and I’ve taken a handful of multivitamins, vitamin C tablets and echinacea.
Not planning on leaving the house today, going to work on some painting, so hopefully that will give me the advantage.
