Patience, grasshopper II

Well I got a surprise on Tuesday.

I went to see my orthodontist for a regular appointment, just to see if I was ready for surgery. The surgeon was there and he said that he wouldn’t have time to do my surgery before he departed for pastures new in March… unless…

He hum-ed and hah-ed and then asked me what my schedule was. I said I was flexible, and he said he could do my surgery tomorrow if I could get myself to the hospital tonight. Wow. I was not expecting that. I said ok, lets do it, and left, but it wasn’t til I got outside that I realised what I was doing. I had just committed myself to major surgery at a moment’s notice, with no support system around me and no contingency plans. I wobbled.

I called mum first, and she tried to talk me out of it. Neither her nor dad were in a position to come up. That wasn’t my main concern though, my main worries were 1) cats and 2) P.  He has his viva soon and I wanted to support him through that. Recovering from surgery doesn’t allow me to do that. And the cats… well they need feeding.

Thankfully I gave myself a talking to. I called P and talked to him about my worries. He said he would be fine, and in all honesty it would be ok because he wouldn’t be a nice person to be around, with the stress of the viva. So I decided: I was going for it. I went to the hospital on Tuesday afternoon, had the surgery Wednesday morning, my mum arrived Wednesday evening, and I’m now at home, on the sofa, writing this.

I am glad that I had the surgery. It’s crappy. I’m in pain, I look like I’ve been beaten up (well, I have been, just voluntarily and by someone who is trained to inflict injury) and I’m tired. I feel ugly and grumpy and frustrated. But if I hadn’t had surgery on Wednesday, I would still have all this to go through… does that make sense? Now I am on the road to recovery. I’m on the road to getting my face back. I don’t have to cross that “surgery” milestone… it’s crossed. Now I just need to get better.

It’s hard being patient though. I just want the healing done now. I could tolerate the pain, but I can’t deal with the bruising and swelling. I feel too ugly to go outside, and I think going outside and seeing people would make time pass more quickly.

Hopefully everything will start to get better soon. Keep your fingers crossed for me!