I was dreading coming into uni today. I knew I had 3 classes to prepare for, and I knew there would be people there who had witnessed my humiliation (ok – maybe a bit melodramatic) on Friday night, and who had observed my absence from the party on Saturday. Although initially I was rather cavalier about about it – who cares, right? – now I’m thinking that I’ve just cut my nose to spite my face, if you understand the expression.
Today there was snow on the hills as I was driving in. It looked really nice, but then I thought: this week will be wholly stormy and wet. It’s already snowing on the higher ground, and the opportunities for getting out and about are dwindling.
I had two opportunities to get out at the weekend: the first was the party, the second was a planned walk with P. But because I was sulking about Friday I didn’t go to the party, and because P didn’t ask me about walking, I assumed he didn’t want to go so abandoned that plan too.
I came in with a giant storm cloud above my head today, ready to be silent and deadly all day, but I realised it’s completely self defeating. The more I sit and sulk, the worse I feel. I need to find a way to stop this kind of behaviour before it gets out of hand and I ruin more of my life.
What happened spring? Narcissi are growing in my window boxes, the sarcococca are flowering and the helleborus niger is starting to get new buds. I was even thinking about what bedding plants to buy. Then today it snowed on my way to work. I’m not joking. Actual snow.
Right now it’s howling a gale outside and I’ve got my Ugg boots on in the house; my feet are actually blue. It’s expected to snow and sleet all week with January-temperatures. I had put my winter boots and coats away but looks like I’ll have to get them out again.
Back in February I wrote about the first days of spring. I hope that this wintry weather isn’t going to signify that the hope that I’d managed to develop that perhaps, maybe, possibly, this year might not SUCK is in vain.
I have never been this cold. I am absolutely sure of that.
I woke up in the middle of the night shivering, and the cat had crawled up to sleep on my neck so I couldn’t move to pull the covers over my head. When I got up, I took the thermometer out of the fridge and put it on the dining table; it was 12 degrees, even with the central heating thermostat set to 25.
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I have come to the conclusion that snow is only entertaining when it doesn’t get in the way. Right now, it’s getting in my way.
I haven’t been able to get out for a run since the 29th December, except for that pathetic attempt at the gym. I have however been walking everywhere as Boyfriend isn’t here to chauffeur me, and today my bursitis flared up pretty badly. I also have a nasty tightness in my quads. Urgh. Nicht so gut.
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Fuzzy – adjective.
Definition: out of focus.
Synonyms: bleary, blurred, dim, distorted, faint, foggy, hazy, ill-defined, indefinite, indistinct, misty, muffled, murky, obscure, shadowy, unclear, unfocused, vague
Antonyms: clear
That pretty much sums up everything at the minute.
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Edinburgh Airport is shut!! Not looking good for me getting my flight home this afternoon… more sacrifices must be made to the Gods of travel. I’ve just sacrificed a mini Mars Bar and three Digestive biscuits. Think that will be enough?
Despite the potential of me not getting home for Christmas, I’m remarkably chipper. Perhaps because when I woke up this morning I saw snow like I had never seen before. It was just beautiful. It almost came up to my knees. I still think I’m a 5-year-old at heart, I get so excited when I see snow, even when it might ruin my plans. It’s just so unusual here.
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Have to go into work tomorrow. The ‘Powers that Be’ have decreed that there must be senior member of staff present at all times. Tag, I’m it.
Going to go in for 8:30am, then leave at 12pm, to back in Edinburgh by 1:10pm. Boyfriend will pick me up at Waverley and deliver me straight to EDI to catch 3pm flight to MAN, and God willing I will be at my parents’ house at 5pm, for 7 blissful days for Christmas.
Going to sacrifice some chocolate to the travel Gods!
